The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week

The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant — but succinct — wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.

Is there any data on “Beyoncé babies”? Like babies born because so many ppl had sex after “Beyoncé” was released? Anyway I’m on deadline

— Haley Mlotek (@haleymlotek) April 27, 2015

*buries hatchet* *remembers where*

— Ayesha A. Siddiqi (@pushinghoops) April 30, 2015

This one goes out to all my strong cool beautiful females out here consistently eating lunch at 11 a.m.

— Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) April 28, 2015

No, it’s not you… I always sigh like that when I answer the phone.

— K in VT (@karlainvt) April 24, 2015

I love you more than the only available outlet in a busy coffee shop

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) April 30, 2015

There is nothing more awkward than the moment you realize you’re getting a double cheek kiss

— Michelle Markowitz (@michmarkowitz) April 27, 2015

The royal baby should be named Jermajesty.

— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) May 2, 2015

Tell him every day how much he loves you.

— Kat Meringue (@Izianikapani) April 28, 2015

Marilyn Mosby got her Masters at OPU (Olivia Pope University).

— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) May 1, 2015

Just brushed my teeth then ate a ton of chocolate covered toffee, at this point I should just start peeing in my bed?

— jenny slate (@jennyslate) April 28, 2015

Feminism, from the Latin for “don’t read the comments.”

— Rhea Butcher (@RheaButcher) April 29, 2015

I just read the phrase “hymen tightening gel” which is apparently a real thing that exists in this world

*ejects self from planet*

— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) May 1, 2015

No, I’m not walking on string cheese stilts, these are just my first bare legs of the season. Feast your eyes!

— Una LaMarche (@sassycurmudgeon) April 29, 2015

i wish i had the self-confidence and boldness of the itunes updater

— Jessica Misener (@jessmisener) May 1, 2015

If you ever want to feel insane I suggest trying to explain to your grandma (who grew up poor as dirt) what a spray tan is

— Caroline in the City (@carolinecox) May 1, 2015

Sometimes I forget what I’m angry about so I just Google it.

— Twitnter Is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) April 28, 2015

started full of thetans now we’re clear

— rachel axler (@rachelaxler) April 30, 2015

a lot of people run on the angry energy of not being popular in high school forever

— salsa bitch emoji (@moscaddie) May 1, 2015

Adults need a special day where someone delivers us booze in cute little packages. Kinda like the Easter bunny or Tooth Fairy.

— Cookies Brightside (@CookieDarkSider) April 27, 2015

Is a Twitter block like a block of cheese?

Can I eat it?

Does it taste good with wine?

— WineIsMySanity (@sanityinabottle) April 28, 2015

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Source: Huffington Post Women